Rump Rider

Ok.  So let's talk about last night.  My buddy Brad that I graduated high school with posted a comment on his FB about some conservative TV analysts. Brad has become somewhat, ok very, liberal over the last decade.  Not a problem, he is entitled to his opinion, as we all are.  Me and Brad always yack back and forth at each other on there, but its all in good fun.  We both know how each other is, and we RESPECT each others views.  So, as usualy, i made a comment about it and said something about some liberal commentators.  We went back and forth, about politics, with no big deal coming out of it.  

Then i get this notification that someone else has commented on the update.  Well this assclown is from san francisco (and notice how i dont even think that city deserves to be capitalized), or so i thought (details to follow).  Well his comment went just a little farther than it should have, but i didnt really get mad about it.  He said "i dont see how you live down there.  A bunch of parrots.  Polly want a Bible".  Ok, that was a little uncalled for.  

Well i see this, and of course i have to reply, so i went old school on him and told him he was as cool as aids for that comment.  Then he starts in about how he is on FB just to impress me and all this shit, being a smartass.  Then Brad asks him to stop doing this on his wall, and he doesnt. Then Brad asks him to again. So i send the dude a message and tell him to respect Brad and stop.  And tell him he was out of line for his "Bible" comment.  

Well one thing leads to another as we message back and forth.  I tell him that since all people in the South are "Bible beaters", he should be happy in san fran keeping a mouth full of cock!  Hey, stereotypes are stereotypes! san fran = queer town, ya know.  So then this tampon tells me he is from Brookwood, AL, and moved to Hueytown at sometime.  He is 34 years old, and that he aint scared and that i should come to san fran and find him and he'll take care of me.  Look dude, exit not entrance, i aint coming to san fran!!!  Then he tells me that "I rarely visit Alabama but when I do im at my dads or with my buddy in Trussville and youd be taking your life in your own hands going to either place and showing your ass!Id let this go if I were you......."

At this point, i begin to laugh uncontrollably. I believe we all know why!  So i proceed to tell him that he needs to talk to Brad and ask him about me, b/c I'm fairly confident in my skills and that he in no way needs to be running that cum dumpster he calls a mouth.  

Then he tells me that he aint scared of my "big steroid ass". Hmmm, how he know that?????  Then he says "A.I dont care about you and your big steriod using ass!I know you ur big pussy!!U like ganging up on people ive seen it with my own 2 eyes!You had your chance to get you some of this corn fed motherfucker and you backed down!!

B.Im straight as they come and dont need a big truck or cowboy boots to feel like a man!
C.Grow some hair and some balls and fly out here BADASS!!"

i believe we all know that was a lie!!!

SO by this point, i'm thinking "ok.  roids, big truck, cowboy boots.  maybe this cat does know me"  And then the "you had your chance to get you some......and you backed down" part started playing thru my mind.  So i ask him a couple of times exactly when this little fantasy of his took place where i backed down. He never gave me an answer.  But the wheels in my heading are going 100mph by this point.  

Because, love me or hate, as long as you know me, i'm sure EVERYONE knows that Adam Penn has NEVER backed down from a fight!!!  Not to say that in the right situation today, i wouldnt, but in the time frame this pole smoker was talking about, DIDNT HAPPEN!!!  

Well it kept bugging me trying to figure out who this guy was.  Well tonight i got my answer from a buddy of mine who is around his age.  And let me tell you, i laughed out loud, spit some of drink out of my mouth, and my eyes watered from laughing so hard when he told me.  Danny was like, "no.  didnt happen".  Just for the simple fact Danny knows me, and he knows that dude with the over-extended imagination. 

So, all i wanted to say tonight, is that i found it funny that some butt dart champion 3000 miles away picked the wrong part of the timeline of my life to tell me i backed down from him.  I personally found it very amusing, as did my friends that i told about it.  

Moral of the story - dont run your cock washer (pun intended) unless you have all of your facts straight!!!